Break From Blogging

Have been very busy in the last few days as have been in the middle of a go live. Should start bloggin again shortly after a week

Bale is back from New Zealand

Bale has come back from New Zealand so we are all whole again. So many things were left undone when bale was away.

I have a niece staying with me who will be registering for catering next week at FIT. I will try and get my FNPF to pay the fees and see if I find some connections at FAB for a scholarship

I have been to both my kids class meetings. It reminds me important having the right teacher is in the progress of a child and his future interaction with school.

Jordan is going to trial for Mini Rugby, he has to compete with more then 90 boys while eparama has to compete with over 250 boys to make the Suva Grammar team. Not sure of their chance because they are both slow.

For me its expected that they will end up playing major athletics as the kids uncle were regulars in Fiji Rugby and Fiji Athletics. So the expectation is the kids will end up playing for Fiji. But first step is to get picked from the trials which will be hard especially as jordan has trouble catching the rugby ball.

Today was the first time the kids became competitive on their results from school. We were very competitive growing up but never for marks at school. Their is problem though by being extremely competitive is that they wont compete in things that they know you wont win. So I keep on saying the notion that the most important thing is to try their best.

Mixed Marriages

Adi Kalavu wrote on a Fiji forum her opinions on Mixed marriages.

Some people in the Fijian community in Australia raised some concerns about when a Fijian woman is married to a European or a Fijian man is married to a European are there problems? Some of the issues raised were:

1. The marriage may be one of convenience, an opportunity to go to overseas, a passport to stay on for an illegal person, a visa to work. This is hardly a good basis for a stable relationship.

2. People have different expectations about a woman's place in the home, or the workplace, who is the boss of the house, who controls the money, what time to eat meals etc. From small details such as the number of visitors into the house, smoking in the lounge-room, kava parties, there can develop friction and arguments.

3. Going to church
If the Fijian partner puts a priority upon their church the other person feels abandoned and says, 'Why do you value your ethnic group more than me and the kids? You want to spend ten hours with them on a Sunday, the only day we have for family outings? 'A Fijian church service might be for two hours. Partners may go to be sociable and to enjoy the singing and dinner but often there is little in the way of English explanation on what is preached about and this is boring for the non-Fijian speaker.

4. . If the Fijian partner puts a priority upon their church the other person feels abandoned and says, 'Why do you value your ethnic group more than me and the kids? You want to spend ten hours with them on a Sunday, the only day we have for family outings? 'A Fijian church service might be for two hours. Partners may go to be sociable and to enjoy the singing and dinner but often there is little in the way of English explanation on what is preached about and this is boring for the non-Fijian speaker. Language

5. can be a barrier to understanding. If an Islander has a limited vocab in English he or she might misunderstand what is being said. Also the non-Fijian speaker might get annoyed that they don't understand the stories, the jokes and they feel excluded because no one bothers to translate. They can go for hours on the edge of a kava circle and not know what is being said. Kava.

6. Some women reckon it is a waste of time, it is costly, it makes the men lazy and tired and even gives them a dry skin. It is a bother to drive 20 k to a shop just to buy kava. Another thing is the continual rearrangement of the furniture to accommodate a kava party, chairs stacked up on the verandah or in bedrooms and everyone has to sit on the floor. A ban on smoking in your house might cause an argument because the Fijian partner wants to be seen as hospitable to guests. Alcohol and violence

7. Alcohol and violence
May cause the breakdown of a marriage. The use of money

8.Who controls the purse if only one person is working? It is difficult if one partner is a big spender, wants a lavish car, or plays the pokies. The demands of the vanua/culture

9. The demands of the vanua/culture
When there is a call for assistance for a particular need such as a bereavement, marriage, or choir tour, this can be a financial burden. The non-Fijian partner resents the fact that the income has already been allocated to pay the mortgage etc.

Okay, where there is love in the full sense of the word, many of the problems can be solved by a give and take, a talking over the situation, airing grievances and coming to some sort of compromise, and respect for each person's difference at times.